Saturday, 15 January 2011


A Gizmodo article has the text of a suicide note written by a programmer called Bill Zeller. This could be voyeuristic, but in this case it is both sad and, in my opinion important, reading.

No-one knew that Bill had been abused as a child. The note details the veil of darkness that the events cast over the rest of his life, including both physical and mental travails. In particular, it shows the way it made it almost impossible for him to form long-lasting relationships.

The whole article is worth a read. He has asked for it to be reproduced in its entirety, and I will therefore not quote from it. Needless to say it is unusual to hear someone eloquently detail the way that abuse has changed their lives, leading them to take the ultimate action.

I have no doubt that there are thousands of people like Bill in this country, yet alone the world. We have to help them to  find a way to deal with their past without destroying themselves. The past cannot be altered; we can only deal with the future.

What is more, abusers (and I include low-level abuse such as bullying in this) have to understand that their actions are not just of the moment; they linger amongst their victims. I have known too many people, both male and female, who have been sexually, physically or mentally abused; in one case all three. Several of these people have significant problems in later life, directly caused by the abuse.

RIP Bill Zeller.

1 comment:

Alan Sloman said...

Deeply thought provoking and dreadfully sad.